Sarah: Molly Came to Visit

You know those times when you haven't seen someone in almost two years? When you crave to be together after such a time and distance has separated you?

Well last week, those feelings were assuaged. Molly came to San Diego. And it was glorious. We ate California burritos, traveled to LA, went to the beach, and made pie. We also had a little friendship photoshoot because the ONLY recent picture we had together was from our graduation from college (and apart from that, most are from freshman year, and let me tell you a lot has changed since then...).

Here are some images from our shoot:

Molly Girl, thank you for coming. I've missed you so much and it was beyond nice having you here in my home.

Sarah: Big Year

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

I took an unintentional leave of absence from the blog for the holidays I guess. It certainly wasn't planned, but I'm glad it happened. It was nice to just take a break and focus on on the holidays, my husband, & our families. 

For both Christmas & New Years Eve, we just chilled out at home. Everything was low-key, lovely, & perfect.

2011 was a big year:

I made a commitment to take care of my body & followed through on it//I finished up my degree & graduated college//I helped Kels pack up her stuff & move to Uganda//I ran my first 5k//I watched as my sister gave birth to my first niece, Luisa//My husband lost his job & we made a really big decision//Frank & I traveled to Uganda & I met my in-laws for the first time! And I love them//I saw the source of the Nile//My womb was blessed by one of my husband's aunties//We packed up our cars & moved across the country//We almost moved into our cars while living in San Diego//I became an official Californian//I had a big personal revelation//I got new glasses//Kelsey & Denis came to the US//Kels & Deno got engaged//

I think 2012 is going to be an even bigger year. Bring it on.

Sarah: Oldies but Goodies

Look what I came across today! These pictures of Kels & I were taken by my good friend Margaret. She took them for her photography class my junior year (so about 3 years ago--wow! three years?! time flies...).

Look at Gordon! That picture captures him so well as a kitten who was incredibly playful, curious, & loved water. These photos were taken during the 9 month period Kels & I lived together & shared a room. Really, where our friendship was cemented. This is where we first got Gordon, battled a crazy roommate, & discovered our kindred spirits. As you can see, things have changed since then. Kels went to Uganda that January (and met Denis & is now engaged!), I got engaged that March & married in August, we both graduated college, Kels moved short/long term to UG, I moved to San Diego...I'm thankful to have these photos to look back & remember these times. Thanks, Marge.

Oh! By the way, Happy December! I love this time of year. I've been listening to Christmas music nonstop : )

Sarah: This one's for Kels

I know that Kelsey loves this song. She loves it so much that it was constantly coming from her iphone. Actually, her phone was stolen once by some 14 year old punk kid and this was one of the only things not deleted by the little douche.

Kels, I ran across this cover today and I thought you'd love it. Enjoy.

Sarah: Collegiate Reflections

Someone asked me if I was going to miss Judson at all...I gave the polite answer of, "Not really, but I'll miss my friends there." But their question caused me to stop and reflect on how I really feel. When I graduated in May, I was worried that, come time for school to start again, I would feel sad or depressed or overly nostalgic about college. And while I do kind of miss that back to school nervousness and excitement for a new school year, I'm not sad or depressed or nostalgic in the least.

If I'm feeling anything (other than excitement to continue on with my life) it's definitely relief. Relief that I'm done with school (forever if I want to be), done with certain people, and done with Judson itself.

I did not have a fun, easy-going, party-it-up kind of college experience. My experience was full of anxiety, conflict, and walking on eggshells. During my last year at JU, I barely even felt like myself most of the time. Because of some mistakes that I had made, there were certain people and certain professors that I just hated having to be around. I walked around campus fearful. I was afraid that if I said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, was the wrong thing that someone (in particular) would go out of their way to prevent me from graduating. In my last semester, there were very few places on campus, and even fewer classes where I felt at ease to be myself and vulnerable. I was going through all the correct Judson motions just so I could come out in one piece on the other side.

I would say to myself, "You only have to do this a little longer and then you're free." Isn't that sad? It's sad that at a Christian school, where I should be able (and encouraged!) to be myself, I felt like if I wasn't fitting into the cookie-cutter mold they were trying to cram me into, I wasn't going to succeed. It also saddens me to look back on my college experience and realize that the feelings I experienced most were anxiety, anger, and bitterness. I told my friend Meghan the other day that the most valuable thing I learned during my time at Judson was how to handle and manage my anger and bitterness (which I'm still not very good at doing, btw).

Wow. This post has been super depressing so far. Sorry about that--I'm not one for sugar-coating things. But, you should know, that along with all that crappiness above, I still value my time at JU. I don't regret going to school there, because:

1). Because of all the crap that went down in those 4 years, I have grown tremendously. I am not the same person I was when I was 18, just coming to college.

2). I have had some truly amazing, life-altering, affirming experiences through Judson that I otherwise would not have had if I didn't go to school there. I have travelled across the world to Kenya, Haiti, and China. I have had my dream of doing missions work affirmed in my life by professors and mentors who I respect and look up to.

(Left to Right) Margaret, Kimberly, Kels, Sarah, Molly, Tiffany, Meghan

The kiss that sealed the deal

3). I have met good people who I know will be in my life forever. I have made some of the strongest relationships I have ever had by going to JU. I met my husband, my best girlfriends, and some strong and present mentors there.

But all in all, now that I have my degree, I feel FREE. Free from the anxiety, fake-ness, and the people. I feel free to move on with my life. And I'm not looking back. So, no. I'm not going to miss Judson.

Not even a little bit.

Memories of a Grandmother. by Sar

My grandmother is one of the most inspirational people I have ever known. I never had to say "grandma Irene" or "Grandma Mulder" because she was my only grandparent I was ever close with. I never knew either of my grandfathers, and within the past few years I've begun to know my dad's mom. But in terms of my childhood and memories, she is my only grandma.

One year ago today, she died. Because her death was so close to my wedding, (a week and a half prior) sometimes I worry that I didn't grieve in the way I might have needed to. Sometimes I still cry (not in a bad way) when I think about her (like right now). To celebrate my gram, I want to share some stories and memories I have of her.

When I was little, maybe like 3 or 4, my gram had a poodle named Pierre. It sounds cute, but he was the devil. I was petrified of Pierre. I can distinctly remember that Pierre the poodle came up to my waist (so I must have been really young). One time when I was over at my grandma's house, she gave a piece of bologna to snack on. Since Pierre was the perfect height, he snatched my bologna right out of my little hand. I was heartbroken (and petrified). My gram went to the fridge, got another piece of bologna, took me over the couch, and let me eat my new piece of bologna in her lap.

This next story takes place, again, when I was little. As long as I can remember my grandma has had dentures. To this day, I have no idea why. Did her real teeth fall out? Did she hate the way they looked? I don't know...anyways. My gram used to entertain me by taking her dentures out. The idea that someone could remove their teeth was outrageous to me. I thought my grandma was magic.

Once, gram and I were driving in her car and we stopped at a 4-way stop. I wasn't paying much attention, but I started to get really annoyed when she didn't go through the stop sign. We sat there for a good 30 seconds before I asked what we were doing. She said (in her super thick Southern accent), "I think there's money in the road. Get out and see." So I got out of the car and walked to the middle of the intersection. a $20 bill was just laying there. She let me keep it.

My grandma loved to fish. But she didn't like to go alone. In the summers during high school, I would take her up to Lake Erie, we'd get some bait, and then we'd sit on the pier and fish for hours. We didn't really talk--she wasn't much of a talker--we just sat together and hoped for a bite.

In college, my grandma would randomly call me. There was no rhyme or reason for the call. And they would never last for more than two minutes. She would just call me to say hi. She would (unknowingly) always end the call with, "Alright, well I love you baby."

The summer she died, I took her grocery shopping a couple of times. However, we couldn't go to the super Walmart in Norwalk. She didn't like the people who greet the customers at the door. She said they were snobs. So I would drive her up to Sandusky (a town 15 miles away) to go to the Meijer. She liked the people better there. She would go around on one of those buggie things and I would get the groceries out the freezer and off the shelves for her.

During big thunderstorms, she would ask my mom and I to go over to her house and keep her company. She hated bad weather. She also kept a cool, damp washcloth with her dab her face if she got too hot.

We made plans for me to go over to her house and have a baked potato.

Irene Mulder was a loud, kind, honest, loving, modest, strong woman. My grandma was a loud woman. She was not afraid to raise her voice to tell you what she thought. For most of my life, she swore like a sailor. Seriously. I'm not lying. My grandma cared for people. She cared for her family, neighbors, and complete strangers. She wasn't afraid to tell you what she thought. But then once she voiced her opinion, she would let people go on with their lives. She didn't pester...much. She loved. She loved anyone and everyone and Jesus. When my sister talked with her about her faith, my grandma said, "I believe in Jesus. I've tried to live a good life. If I had a biscuit and my neighbor didn't, well, I'd share mine." Her faith and love was simple, but strong. Gram didn't have a lot. She grew up in the hollers of West Virginia and when she was really young, her mama died in a car crash. She and her siblings basically raised themselves and relied on each other for everything. Her life was not easy. She went through and overcame so many obstacles in life. She was strong.

Gram (on the right) with her older sister Betty Jane

You want to know something? I have my grandmother's eyes. The exact. same. eyes. And that makes me feel special. Like, a visible part of her is with/in me. I hope one of my kids get her eyes, too.